Simple, profound truths are the realm of this Buddhist nun. Her message? The gift of happiness truly lies within our own hearts and minds. Gen Kelsang Nyema, exuding a peacefulness that immediately connects with the audience, starts by asking three questions: Are you having a good day? Why? Tomorrow, would you rather have a good day or a bad day? She teaches that we cannot put our happiness at the whim of other people and of circumstances. If we want to be happy, we have to “stop outsourcing our happiness to other people” and cultivate a source of inner peace. What happens next is quite astounding. The whole crowd of 350+ people proceeds to meditate with Nyema. There’s a little squirming at first, but as she leads the audience through a calm citation of how to rest the mind, audience members feel a collective relaxation flow into the room and through the people. Fascinating! Refreshing.
Happiness is all in your mind: Gen Kelsang Nyema
Transcripts of the Video:
00:10
all right my friends hello so I want to
00:18
start off with a few questions and I
00:24
know a lot of other presenters have
00:26
already asked you questions and they’ve
00:29
been kind of hard questions but the
00:33
questions I’m going to ask you are very
00:36
very simple and I promise you’ll be able
00:40
to answer these all right are you ready
00:42
for your first one okay your first
00:47
question is you don’t have to answer out
00:50
loud are you having a good day okay you
00:59
got your answer
01:02
alright my second question for you is
01:10
why if you’re having a good day why are
01:15
you having a good day
01:19
or if you’re having a bad day why are
01:23
you having a bad day
01:30
so I have one more question for you this
01:35
should be the easiest one of all my last
01:38
question is tomorrow would you rather
01:44
have a good day or would you rather have
01:48
a bad day do you have your answer for
01:55
that one
01:56
what about the day after tomorrow about
01:59
Sunday let’s see yeah that’s right
02:02
tomorrow no Saturday Sunday how about
02:05
Monday would you like to have a good day
02:08
or a bad day on Monday Tuesday Wednesday
02:14
Thursday Friday this time next week good
02:19
day or a bad day
02:27
so that last question like I said is
02:33
probably the easiest one for us to
02:36
answer because we know the answer to
02:38
that don’t we we want to have a good day
02:40
every day did anyone in the room answer
02:45
yes I want to have a bad day on Monday
02:50
of course not we all want to have a good
02:53
day every day so this is really speaking
03:02
to the type of happiness that we all
03:05
wish for in our heart of hearts we have
03:08
a good day when we are happy and we want
03:15
to be happy every day there’s never a
03:19
day when we don’t want to be happy but
03:27
whether or not we have good days or bad
03:29
days really depends upon how we answered
03:32
the second question do you remember the
03:36
second question what was the second
03:38
question why why am I having a good day
03:43
why am I having a bad day so one thing
03:50
that my teacher says his name is Geshe
03:53
Kell sang yatza and he says much of the
04:00
time our mind is like a balloon and the
04:04
wind blown here and there by external
04:09
circumstances do you know that feeling
04:14
he says when things are going well when
04:19
they’re going our way we feel happy but
04:24
then if something goes wrong for example
04:28
he says if we’re forced to work with a
04:31
colleague that we dislike but I’m sure
04:36
none of you have colleagues you dislike
04:38
right
04:42
he says if we’re forced to work with
04:45
someone we dislike or if something
04:46
doesn’t go our way then our happy
04:49
feeling disappears
04:58
so as long as her answer to the question
05:01
why am I having a good day or why am I
05:04
having a bad day because you know this
05:06
is a question people ask us like maybe
05:08
when you get home today someone will go
05:10
well so how was that Ted thing did you
05:12
have a good day I will say yeah yeah I
05:17
did there is this lady and she talked to
05:20
us about how we need to be about
05:22
compassionate towards former inmates and
05:26
there is this performer who did this
05:28
awesome B boxing thing with his mouth
05:31
and you know this person and that person
05:34
as long as our reasons for why we had a
05:38
good day are a list of external
05:41
conditions then we’re not going to have
05:47
the stable happiness that we all want
05:51
does that make sense dear because if
05:55
that’s what our happiness depends upon
05:57
because we cannot control people and
06:02
circumstances every single day then our
06:09
happiness will be in the hands of others
06:13
won’t it it’ll be at the whim of our
06:17
circumstances so if you really wish to
06:25
have a good day every day we’ve got two
06:28
things we need to do so the first thing
06:33
that we need to do is we need to stop
06:37
outsourcing our happiness and
06:41
outsourcing our unhappiness on the
06:45
people and circumstances in other words
06:51
we need to stop attributing our
06:55
happiness – what’s going on externally
06:58
and we need to stop blaming others
07:05
especially blaming others for our
07:09
unhappiness
07:13
so for as long as we do that as long as
07:16
we’re making it the job of people and
07:20
circumstances to make us happy or as
07:25
long as we’re making it their fault when
07:28
we’re unhappy
07:29
our happiness will be very unstable and
07:34
elusive our second job is to actively
07:44
cultivate a source of peace and a source
07:48
of happiness coming from inside our own
07:53
mind so here’s something I want you to
08:00
commit to memory are you ready this is
08:05
another line from one of my teachers
08:09
books where he says happiness and
08:14
unhappiness are states of mind and
08:21
therefore they’re real causes cannot be
08:26
found outside the mind so if we have a
08:34
peaceful state of mind we will be happy
08:38
regardless of people and circumstances
08:43
if our mind is unpeaceful or agitated
08:46
then even if we have very good
08:49
circumstances we’ll find it impossible
08:51
to be happy
08:58
so in other words it’s not what is
09:05
happening that is making us happy or
09:08
unhappy it is how we are responding to
09:13
those things that determines whether we
09:17
are happy or unhappy it is what our
09:21
state of mind is like that determines
09:26
our happiness or unhappiness so how are
09:34
we going to do this so we can all
09:37
understand this like intellectually it’s
09:39
not rocket science is it there’s not
09:41
hard to understand and maybe to a
09:43
certain extent as I tell you these
09:47
things you’re like yeah I knew that
09:49
already I knew that already
09:53
but how do we actually do it how do we
09:56
actually cultivate this stable peace of
10:01
mind that we can rely upon regardless of
10:05
the external circumstances so this is
10:10
really where meditation comes into play
10:13
and I would say I would need a whole
10:17
other TED talk
10:19
hint hint in order to really do the
10:24
subject of meditation justice but for
10:29
our purposes today we can say that
10:32
meditation is a mental action it’s the
10:37
mental action of concentrating on a
10:41
peaceful positive state of mind if we do
10:45
that if we concentrate on a peaceful
10:49
positive state of mind then we can say
10:52
we’re meditating whether that’s like
10:55
this right see actually you don’t know
10:59
if I’m meditating or not because I could
11:01
be thinking about my grocery list
11:07
it’s only meditation if I’m actually
11:10
focusing on a positive peaceful state of
11:13
mind but the trick is I can do it like
11:16
this this is called formal meditation
11:19
but we can also learn to do this all the
11:22
time in our daily life so see here’s a
11:32
perfect opportunity we concentrate on a
11:37
mine of patience we’re not disturbed not
11:41
unhappy so why don’t we try it now are
11:44
you up to up for it just a short
11:46
meditation according to the clock I’ve
11:48
got three minutes left this is going to
11:50
be a very brief one but let’s actually
11:52
try it let’s try to tap into our own
11:58
potential for a peaceful positive state
12:01
of mind so now I’ll ask you just to sit
12:08
comfortably and place your feet flat on
12:15
the floor and your hands within your lap
12:21
and then you can lightly those your eyes
12:29
and become aware of the sensation of
12:35
your breath at the tip of your nose
12:47
and does you breathe out you can imagine
12:52
you are breathing out any agitation any
13:01
mental busyness any frustration or
13:09
unhappiness in your life breathing it
13:15
all out like dark smoke
13:34
and as you breathe in you can imagine
13:41
and believe that you are breathing in a
13:48
clear bright light which is a very
13:57
nature of inner peace
14:08
and you can imagine that this clear
14:11
bright light fills your entire body and
14:18
mind
14:19
[Music]
14:36
and for a few seconds simply enjoy this
14:47
inner peace coming from within
14:50
[Music]
15:10
and now as we finish just be determined
15:15
to bring this inner peace with you into
15:21
the rest of your day to benefit yourself
15:24
and others so now we rise from
15:32
meditation thank you very much
